MY camino turns east

Well, if my intention here was to learn more about myself so that I can learn to love better, then I think the "Way of St. James" (Camino de Santiango) has served its purpose well. In short, I've learned, yet again, that I'm built for community.

I'm the first to tell you that there's no sense in regretting things...only to learn from them, ask for grace if needed, and allow those seeming 'mistakes' to adjust future decisions. Well, this has been an expensive lesson. Granted, when I originally planned this trip it was for very different reasons. But when those reasons took a turn, instead of "sticking it to the man" and showing myself I could make and even BETTER trip out of it, I wish that humility would have helped me see the blessing a cancellation would have been.

I still can't say this was a mistake. I've learned a lot in ways I couldn't have back home, but I can say that it wasn't necessary to learn them in this way or in this place. I love to travel and - don't get me wrong - I'll continue to do so (sorry syd!!). But hopefully this trip will serve as a reminder that I want my traveling to serve a greater purpose than a good time or a new culture or 'why not'?

For now, though, I'm going to stop kicking myself and move towards something greater. While I may not have friends here that I've known for more than a few weeks, I do have that. I do have a community that will welcome me and all my shortcomings back into the fold for as long
as I can be around.

Everything I have read about the Camino de Santiago has said that everyone's way is different. I think they meant more that timing, speed, routes, and purposes are different...but mine is QUITE different in that MY Santiago isn't actually a town. I don't think my camino STOPS here...as Alli said last night, its more of a change of direction.

The back of one of my info sheets says something that I've always really enjoyed:

The Camino de Santiago, even more than a turist route through towns, places and scenery, is a personal and interior route, where Santiago is only a symbol that you can encounter in any local.

I think for now my way is one that leads me in another physical direction, but maybe closer to the person I want to be.

Its not abnormal for people to walk the Camino over several years, each time picking up where they left off and doing as much as they can
in the time they're allotted. Who knows when or if it will take place, but I could very well come back and finish someday...but next time,
with other hearts to share it with.