this is a post my good friend, lucky, posted this morning:
I spent my youth in daydreams. I never had to become attached to a place to a person, because I was always leaving. I could always become whoever I wanted to be when I'd move someplace new. It was a place to reinvent. I could start the dreams anew. I didn't have a style, nothing that had to define me for long.
Some influences in my life have been that way all their lives too. They are still floating in the ether, able to be whoever they want to be, at least on the surface, half asleep. They see the choices I've made as stakes tying me down, when they choose to be free. I've decided that there is no such thing as total freedom in this life. If we aren't tied to a place, we are tied to leaving them. If we aren't tied to a person, we're tied to avoiding them. If we aren't griping tight to God, we're running from Him, looking over our shoulders. (**italics added...because this portion struck a cord in a big way!**)
I've chosen my rope and chosen to enjoy captivity. If that means I get to be tied to Jesus, even to His cross, I'll take it if I get to taste that freedom. Freedom over death, freedom over evil and everything that comes from it. Freedom I'll never fully know this side of heaven. What I do know of freedom takes my breath away.
I know how freeing it is to look into a man's eyes, get lost there, and know that it's okay to feel lost because he'll be lost with me unitl the day God shows us the way home.
I know how freeing it is to see a piece of you reflected back in the face of child. I know the feeling of being the most important person in the world to that little face. It's a terrifying responsibility, but it's the kind of terror you feel gettting pulled up the first hill of a roller coaster. You know it'll be scary/exciting/thrilling, but you stood in line knowing that and got on anyway, and you'll probably do it again.
I don't pull up stakes anymore, I don't reinvent myslef anymore. I traded the chains I travelled with for a chance at captivity. I'm captivated. I don't want freedom from that.
Lucky, I can't remember where I even read it at this point, but I remember reading something a few months ago that said that freedom isn't this false idea people have about having no responsibility and no ties. freedom is the ability to choose what we're bound to and bound by - and the love involved in that sacrifice. lady, you are free as free can be.
