so then what - what's the solution? when i am faced with soo many possibilities that are equally exciting, equally impactful, equally expensive (oh dear...), how do you decide? in high school i would set out all my options and pray until i felt like one trumped the others. but then somewhere along the line my philosophies shifted to something much more simple: just move forward - act on the convictions, impulses and passions the creator knit into your being from the very beginning. i certainly don't think there's always a 'plan' as far as that's concerned. i think we have free will - choose to love and search your motives and then act. god's present in every city, every school, and every vocation across the globe.
but now. i never thought just-out-of-university syndrome would last this long. my life is completely up in the air. i used to get excited at this feeling, but anymore i want something (or someone) to draw me at least a bit more in one direction than the next. but instead i still have the same endless list of interests and possible vocations. i could list right now at least 10 different places with 10 different options as to what i would do for a job and what i would be working towards. so which one is "right"? which is "best"?
i ask myself - what is important in life? what do i believe in? and simplified i answer myself:
agape. love acted out through community.
so it should be easy - move towards that, right? well, my community is in nashville. but i don't feel right in nashville - if feel complacent and lukewarm, so that can't be my city, right? oh dear... who knows. community can be found anywhere with a bit of time and effort.
it's difficult when, for the first real time in my life, i want to invest in something. i feel like the next decision i make is sticking for awhile. it makes me simultaneously uncomfortable and ridiculously giddy.
maybe i just need to make a decision and see where it takes me.
